Accepting Our Insecurities

November 15, 2017

I heard a woman talk once about one of her friends-she described the friend as someone who knew exactly who she was and was comfortable and confident in her own skin 100% of the time, no matter the situation or social group she was around. I looked at this woman describing her friend and thought to myself, “I so wish I could be like this lady’s friend.” Would you have felt this same way??

I’m embarrassed to admit how often I’ve been uncomfortable around others, feeling like I can’t measure up to my peers around me, and feeling like I don’t have it takes to “measure up”. When the reality is that it isn’t those other peers forcing me to feel that way-it’s me. Me and my insecurities getting in the way.

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Maybe we all have insecurities about things that may not seem that “big” from the outside, but in reality, have quite the effect on us. 

Growing up, I had stick straight hair that would hold a good wave. When I hit middle school, my hair became naturally curly, and I had natural waves (you can kind of see my natural hair here.) Anyway, it was pretty devastating to suddenly have a whole new head of hair I had to learn how to deal with, and in a way I took this as something I wasn’t exactly proud of. I didn’t have the type of hair that everyone else did, and in a way I was ashamed. It took me a while to get to the point to realize that my naturally curly hair held it’s own way better than my stick-straight hair once did. It was a silly little insecurity that took me a while to feel okay about. And now, I really do love my hair, even if it took me some time to feel that way. I definitely had to learn to love myself.

Maybe you have something about yourself that prevents you from feeling okay around others. If you do, know that you are not alone. 

Behind every person is something we may struggle with or find a challenge with ourselves, whether that be external or internal, and even if nothing is said about that insecurity, it still may exist.

So how do we get over those insecurities in ourselves?

1 // Well, the first thing we can do is to recognize each unique feature of ourselves. 

We have so many gifts to share with the world. We each have a unique talent that sets us apart from others.

We each have a unique talent that sets us apart from others. Click To Tweet

Whether or not someone comes along and helps us to recognize that in ourselves, we also need to recognize that on our own. I love the Meyers-Briggs test, because it helps us to see what some of our strengths are. In reality, there are so many strengths which outnumber our insecurities in our lives. Take the time to remind yourself of the other strengths you possess; could be caring for others, listening, running, the list goes on. We all have something good to share with the world.

2// Spend time with people who bring out the best in you. 

We deserve to be around people who are willing to lift us up and let us know how awesome we are! Find people who won’t constantly remind you of your flaws, and instead, will celebrate your gifts and contributions, even if you don’t see those things in yourself. Spending time around people who make you feel inferior is not worth your time, and can only leave you feeling isolated. Find instead, those who are willing to support you, even in the tough times.

3 // Lose the Feeling of Perfection

We would not be human if we did not have flaws. Admitting that you may not feel comfortable about some of yourself is okay. We were not made to be perfect, and sometimes that reminder is all we need. The phrase, “You are perfect just the way you are”, is so very true in this case. You really are you, and so wonderful because of it!

4 // Know you are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Know you’ve got a Maker who Created you just the way you are. I love the verse, Psalm 139:14, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (NIV) This is such a good reminder that no matter what, God does not expect perfection, because we have already been made wonderfully.

No matter what insecurity you may have or the hurdles you may be trying to jump, know you are definitely not alone. You’ve got so much to offer the world, and so many wonderful strengths about you. Yes, getting over those challenges and insecurities may be difficult at times, but is so worth it in the end, to help find your own self-worth.

A BIG thanks to Zoey Grace Photography!

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  • So much goodness in here!!! I especially fall prey to the “idea of perfect”. I’ve been a perfectionist as long as I can remember and it kills me sometimes! I think social media is a huge hinderence in not feeling like we have to be perfect all the time. So many people are putting out images that just aren’t real! I appreciate you staying authentic 😊

    • Thank you! I’m with you. It’s tough at times to fall in to the idea of perfection. But it’s also good to know we don’t have to be perfect!

  • Thank you for this inspiring and warming post! We all need that reminder that it’s ok to not be perfect, but rather be happy with yourself and what you have. 🙂
    – Desiree
    http://www.desireplusane.ca

  • Love the reference to Psalm 139 – so true! His works are wonderful, we can know that FULL WELL! 🙂 Hugs on the journey!

  • It’s definitely most important to remember who we are – the daughter of the King of Kings!!!

  • Absolutely this! All of your points were great and I love that you added Psalm 139-one of my favs!

  • Great post, Caitlin! It’s so important to surround yourself with people who lift you and make you feel good!

    I’ve always had insecurities about my small/petite frame. It’s taken me almost 29 years to appreciate the body I have and how amazing it is!

    • Thank you so much, Shannon! I love hearing about how others are now loving who they are, even if it’s taken a while to get there!

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